The Invisible Elder: When Ageism Collides with LGBTQ+ Identity

The UK’s aging population faces traditional challenges like declining health and financial insecurity, but also a growing concern that has been largely overlooked in policy discussions: how to support older members of the LGBTQ+ community. A new report from the Centre for Ageing Better highlights the alarming reality that older LGBTQ+ individuals are at risk of being erased from their own lives due to ageism and homophobia.

Older LGBTQ+ individuals often feel forced to hide their identities, even in care settings. Adam Porter, a housing development manager with the LGBT Foundation charity, has encountered numerous cases where older members of the community have been pressured to conceal their relationships or identities due to fears of homophobia or transphobia from caregivers. This social isolation can lead to delayed access to necessary care.

The Kindred House project in Manchester provides 80 self-contained apartments for LGBTQ+ individuals over 55, offering specialist training for staff on LGBTQ+ inclusion. The scheme aims to create a safe space where older members of the community can live openly and authentically. Porter notes that Kindred House is not just a solution but also an opportunity to spark conversations about how best to support this vulnerable demographic.

Statistics paint a sobering picture: over half of gay and bisexual men aged 65 and above live alone, compared to less than a quarter of their heterosexual peers. Bisexual women in the same age group are twice as likely to be estranged from their families as their heterosexual counterparts. These numbers illustrate an increasingly isolated community that is not only aging but also facing significant social challenges.

Policy makers and service providers must address these concerns. Despite significant strides in LGBTQ+ rights, the needs of older members of the community remain overlooked. The UK’s National Health Service (NHS) has made efforts to improve its services for LGBTQ+ individuals, but more needs to be done to address ageism and homophobia in care settings.

Norman Goodman’s story highlights the importance of creating safe spaces for older members of the community. As a 75-year-old bisexual man who came out in his late 60s after the death of his wife, Norman worries about facing discrimination if he needs more formal care as he ages. His experience emphasizes the need for comprehensive training on LGBTQ+ inclusion for caregivers and healthcare professionals.

Initiatives like Kindred House are part of a growing recognition of the importance of providing inclusive spaces for older members of the community. In other parts of the world, including Spain, Sweden, Germany, the US, and Canada, efforts have been made to create LGBTQ+-friendly retirement communities. However, in the UK, such projects remain few and far between.

To address the needs of our aging population effectively, policymakers and service providers must prioritize the experiences of older LGBTQ+ individuals. By doing so, we can create a more inclusive society where everyone has the opportunity to live openly and authentically throughout their lives. The success of initiatives like Kindred House depends on whether policymakers and service providers are willing to listen to the concerns of this community and take concrete steps to address them.

For many older members of the LGBTQ+ community, “chosen family” is a lifeline in times of need. However, it’s not just about individual relationships; it’s also about creating systemic changes that ensure everyone has access to inclusive care and support. The invisible elder deserves nothing less.